Taught my VERY FIRST Zumba fitness Class Last Night!!!!

There is a first time for everything!!!  Last night I taught my very first Zumba fitness class.  It wasn’t just one song for someone else’s class.  No.  That’s not how I roll.  When I do something, I do it all the way.  I started my own business and my own classes and taught my first full class all by my lonesome!  Boy was it fun!!!

I made sure to start my Zumba business in a place I feel loved and supported (my church).  My minister was so excited when I asked her about teaching there.  She has been very supportive and has made sure it was advertised and gave me special time up on the podium for the last 2 weeks to talk it up. Did I mention I feel loved and supported there?

 

Even so, I packed the room with my 2 biological children and 3 more bonus children.  I knew they would dance, laugh and bring that energy I love and they did!  But I also had a packed room!  People from Facebook.  People from church.  It was a great mix of age groups from 11 to 70’s.  Perfect!  Even my husband tried to do some shakin’ and groovin’!  (Unfortunately, he knees can’t handle it until after his surgery in July, but he tried!)

 

 

It is funny how I can have every song and dance memorized and do it perfectly at home, but once I get up in front of everyone and find myself having to multi-task (remembering the moves, doing the moves, encouraging others to move, giving instruction, counting the measures of the song, smiling and laughing all at the same time) that the dance moves just float away.  Sometimes during the songs it became just a matter of, move and have fun!  So that is what we did!  They didn’t know the moves to the dances, so what could it hurt?  Only a couple of women had ever done Zumba and since I choreographed all but 1 of my songs completely on my own, no one knew the moves except for me.  That made it easy to forget and make it up on the fly!  There is definitely a learning curve, but I don’t regret starting out this way at all.  I know many instructors start out teaching 1 song for an already formed class or they start out subbing.  This gives them the confidence to start their own classes.  But like I said, I started in a place I feel loved and supported and I know they will laugh with me not at me  .

 

I danced and smiled so much last night.  I literally had sweat dripping in my eyes. It was crazy! I looked at my participants.  They were sweating up a storm.  The 19-year-old boys had sweat soaked shirts!  My minister was sweating up a storm. I heard comments like, “She wasn’t kidding when she said we were gonna sweat!” I saw smiles!  I heard laughing.  To me, that means I did my job (if you want to call it that) well.  To me, it was just dancing with my friends.  Isn’t that what life is supposed to be about?

  

As Miley says, “It’s all about the climb.”

I know I have posted something about the music that plays on my iPhone at JUST the right times while I am running; and I have done that probably too much.  But today, I reached a very important goal and the song that played  at JUST THAT MOMENT was Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb”.

I started running a little over a year ago. My original goal was just to run a 5K distance (3.1 miles) without stopping.  I have walked many of 5Ks in my life, but I could hardly run to the end of my block without going into heart failure!  This was a huge goal for me.  I started with the C25K program.  But man, once I got to where I was supposed to run 8 minutes and then 20 minutes, I thought I was NEVER going to be able to do this.  My 5K race day came, and I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t even run 8 minutes straight without having to stop.  I ended up walking most of that race. I completed it faster than my previous 5Ks, but I didn’t reach my goal of running the entire thing.  Then it was time to train for my next race.  See Jane Run 1/2 Marathon was in June.  Realizing that I was not going to be able to run that entire race, I decided I needed a training plan.  That is where I ran into the 4 run 2 minute walk training plan. I loved it. As a matter of fact, I have loved it so much, it has almost become a crutch.  I began to feel like I would never be able to run more than 4 minutes at a time.  So in the last year, I have tested myself several times to prove to myself I can run a full mile.  I can run more than 4 minutes.  I can do this.  I can do that.  But I have YET to run a full 5K distance without stopping!

You may remember that a couple of weeks ago, I decided to run without any kind of technology and I ran my fastest 5K distance, but I did stop twice to walk and drink water.  In my head I thought I couldn’t run that whole 5K.  Well my amazing husband has told me, “Martha, I believe you can run that complete 5K distance, you just never give yourself the chance.”   He was right. I haven’t. Not really.  This week, I have been dancing for 2-4 hours STRAIGHT (without breaks) getting ready to teach my first Zumba fitness class.  It dawned on me.  “Martha, if you can dance at that high intensity for THAT long with sweat literally pouring down your body, then you can certainly run for 30-40 minutes without stopping!”

So I woke up today and said, “Today is the day!!!!”

I woke up to a beautiful, clear, blustery, cold morning.  Last week when I ran Robie Creek there was a heat warning, and this morning I woke up to snow on the very same mountains I was just running Robie in.  Crazy!  Anyway, it was a perfect day to run.  After all, in just 8 days I will be running a full marathon.  I needed to get back out and run.  I strapped on my shoes (I need new ones by the way), my warm running hoodie, my music and went out for a run.  My goal today?   Listen to my tunes and run a complete 5K distance without stopping.

I took off on a different route.  I figured if I ran a different route, I would not be pre-conditioned to stop at any one point of my run. I set my running program to run a 5K distance.  It let me know when I reached mile 1. I was feeling great. I wasn’t winded. My form was good.   I reached mile 2 and I found myself having to make some quick decisions. “Which way am I going to turn to finish the distance and get home?”  I just turned right back around at the intersection and started heading back. I thought this was just going to be a quick out and back.  But then I found myself turning on a new street (I have driven this route before because my son’s friends lived here, but I have never run it.)  I ran through this old subdivision made of horse properties.  I love these old subdivisions. They are quiet.  They have old growth trees.  I get to see the farm animals that live there.  It’s just fun and peaceful.

I’m still feeling great and maybe getting a little winded, but I still have steam in my engines. This will not be my fastest 5K; I realize that. But it will be a steady 5K.  I have been running at a 12 1/2 minute pace this whole time.   Did you know that the elementary school asks a kid to run a mile in 12 minutes or faster to pass the Presidential Fitness Award? Most students can’t do that.  When I was a kid in elementary school I couldn’t even WALK that distance.   I’m a week away from 43, and I can!  There is something to be said for that!  Anyway, I am almost to mile 3 and enjoying my run through this old, peaceful subdivision.  Then I hear it.  The woman in my ear says I have reached mile 3.  I only have .1 left to go.  I unhook my phone from my belt and hold it in my hands so I can click “stop” as soon as I reach my goal.  I also see the intersection of this old subdivison and the new road I will be taking that will lead me out of this peaceful run and back into traffic.   And there it is!!!  3.1 miles…. 5K distance!  I RAN THE ENTIRE WAY AND DIDN’T STOP!!!!   And Miley was on my iPhone singing away, “Ain’t about how fast you get there; ain’t about whats waiting on the other side. It’s the climb!”  Then right there at the corner of my quiet rural subdivsion and the entrance to the busy city street, a rooster crows and celebrates my accomplishment!

As I continued walking home listening to Miley sing, I realized it has taken me a year to reach this particular goal.  I climbed many mountains along the way.  I tried running this particular distance several times and failed. But no  matter how many times I failed at THIS distance, I kept climbing to reach my other goals and my other distances and I never stopped climbing and reaching.  And today, a year later, I finally achieve this one “little” thing!  It’s not about how fast I got here and it certainly isn’t about what’s on the other side (cause usually the other side of a 5K run means longer runs to train for…but I have already done those other runs and finished them in my goal times), it’s just about the climb and what I have learned about myself in this last year’s climb!

   Here’s to your climb!  Just keep moving. Keep climbing. Keep the faith!  You can do it!!!!!  It’s all about the climb!

Noticing and being GRATEFUL for the changes!

It’s April 9th and Spring is in full bloom!  The trees around my house have beautiful blooms on them.  Tulips are coming up.  It’s just gorgeous outside! Animals are waking up.  Birds are nesting and baby birds are coming out.  It’s just beautiful out there!  Spring is a time for new life to come forth!  Look at the holiday that just passed….Easter!  It’s all about new beginnings!  It’s also a time to plant for a harvest in the Autumn.  What are YOU going to plant right NOW?  What kind of life are you creating for yourself right now so that you can see the changes and the difference in the fall?

While you are mulling that over, I wanted to share something with you.

I started running last April.  I had a goal, but I can honestly say I truly hated running!  I hated the act of running.  The way I felt afterwards was kinda cool. But I never felt that runner’s high that everyone talks about. I never really get lost outside of myself in some spiritual moment while I’m running. It was always a struggle for the next step and the next breath.  Let’s face it, when you weight 240# running is going to be difficult!  But I kept running.  In the last year, I have celebrated some amazing moments in my running “career” and I have found a true love for the sport!  I have learned so many great things about myself while I was running and I continue to learn. And if you keep a history of your training/running, it’s a great way to look back and see your progress and give you a much-needed “‘atta girl!” when you need one! (Especially when that scale isn’t cooperating!)

Anyway, today while I was finishing up my run I was getting to mile 4 and realized that I have shaved off a couple of minutes in my running times.  I remember my runs last year.  I remember how painful they were.  I remember how I thought I would NEVER run a 5k in a decent time much less be able to run the 2011 Honolulu Marathon!  I was toast and discouraged. But I kept at it.  Today, I did a small run. It was just 4 miles and my pace was 13 minutes 26 seconds and that was with some serious hills!  That is still “slow” and considered “back of the packer” for any marathon, but it is certainly FASTER than I was last year. I came home and pulled up my records from April 27th  (the first time I tracked anything on my phone) and I did 2 very flat miles at a 15 minute 58 second pace (nearly 16 minutes per mile) and I remember being very toast at the end of that run! It was hard!

I’m so grateful for the lifestyle changes I have made. I am grateful for my health.  I know that my running will continue to get faster as I continue to train for more races.

I just wanted you all to know that it literally takes step by step to get where you are going!  It can be painful and you might even want to quit, but the end results are so very worth it! Please keep going!  Take pictures of yourself and keep track that way. It’s amazing to see the physical changes. Keep records of your times when you walk or run and look back at those. These will help keep you motivated and keep you in the right frame of mind!  You got this!  If I can do this…Anyone can!!!

An Insight from the book An Accidental Athlete by John Bingham

I just finished reading this amazing book! If you are running or if you are a 40-something looking at Adult- Onset Athleticism, this book is for you! I loved every second of reading this book and was sad to see it end.

However, towards the end of the book, there was a passage that made me think of our relationship with the Scale and our Weigh Ins.

“I was not alone. Standing at the finish line of races today, I see people come across the line angry with themselves and disappointed with their times. They’re grumpy when they finish. There’s no joy in their faces.

I want to grab them and remind them that life doesn’t guarantee that they will see another start line, let alone another finish line. i want them to be grateful for what they have achieved, not discouraged by what they did not.”

How often do we step on that scale and see a number we would just rather not see? In one moment we have forgotten about all that hard work that had gotten us here to this moment. We have forgotten about all of the weight we have lost up to this point. We have forgotten all of those Non-Scale Victories that we have under our belt. We let that moment with a less than perfect number on the scale bring us down.

When in reality, there are no promises in life! There is no guarantee that we will make it to another weigh in. Are we going to let a less than perfect Weigh In rob of us of all of our joy and achievements and hard work it has taken us to get here. Are we going to let it stop us from celebrating the life we are living right NOW? NO!!!!!!!!!

Thank God (or whoever/whatever you believe in..or just yourself) that you have taken the steps to get where you are right now. What a huge accomplishment that is! Even if this is your first week, your first official weigh in and its not as big or as great as you would like…YOU ARE HERE!!! That is so much better than you were just last week or 2 weeks ago when you were burying your head in the sand. Celebrate THAT!

My Epic Face Plant…Every one should do it at least once in their lives!

I have been boarding this same ski hill for 9 years now. Bogus Basin Ski Resort just outside of Boise, Idaho. It’s my play ground all year-long!

For the last 9 years, every time I rode up the Morning Star Chair lift I would look down at the tracks beneath me. Skiers and boarders have been playing in the “off trail” powder, making their own path down the mountain just beneath these chairs. Every year, I say, “I wish I could do that.”

This year, I decided that I WAS going to do that! The last time I went up to Bogus, I was with my son. He managed to almost kill me with some crazy hard runs and we never made it to the chair lift run that I wanted to take. So today, with 12″ of powder over the last week, I decided today was the day. My legs were just about done for the day, but this is what I wanted! I rode up the chair lift and looked down planning the path I would take. I couldn’t wait to play in that off trail powder. (Off trail powder has been my goal all year…reaching out and doing trails that are new to me and un-groomed and a bit more risky.)

I was reaching the top of the chair lift, and getting ready to exit. I had made my plan and was I was ready! I slid off the chair and down the ramp with expert precision. I strapped my board on and headed towards my run. Immediately, I was taking a new path; even getting to this run was new to me!

The powder was a bit sticky and almost slushy as today was perfect spring conditions. I was gliding along and just reaching the Chair Lift line. The chairs were full and I was in full view of the Lifty (chair lift operator) Shack that was just up hill from me. I had not a care in the world and was totally enjoying my day, when…….BAM!!!!

I have no idea what happened. But all of a sudden I found myself bashing my face into the snow, helmet hitting the ground and bouncing back up. I was on my knees and hands (all fours) and I was sliding to a stop, all the while laughing my head off. Finally, I stopped and turned around to sit on my bottom. I looked up to see where I was, and sure enough, there were chairs right over my head. There were people in those chairs. I had an audience for this amazing fall.

I scooted to the edge of another drop in to my run and sat there for a minute. I had snow INSIDE of my goggles. (How the heck did THAT happen?) I took off my goggles and cleared them of any snow. Above me a chair rider yelled down, “You can do it!” I laughed and replied, “I know I can! Thanks!”

Up I stood and aimed my board back down the hill. Sliding and turning. Surfing through the white powder. Listening to the sound of my board cutting through the powder as if it was butter; it was making a different sound than normally it does. (Gotta love spring conditions!) I turned to find as much untouched snow as possible. I glided over a scary narrow path with a chair lift pole on one side and a cliff with brush on the other. I kept going. Soon, there was a huge dip ahead of me. I squatted down deeper and built up some speed going down the path and hit that dip, and “Swoop!” up I went catching a bit of air before landing back down in the soft snow. Down I continued going, cutting back and forth. I had a HUGE grin on my face.

Finally, the end of my run merged with another main stream run and I was back on the groomed trails racing back to the chair lift to take another run!

Since that run went so amazingly, face plant & all, I decided to take another scary run in the search for fresh powder through the trees! THAT was so much fun!

It dawned on me, today. Sometimes we gotta take a face plant in front of an audience & pick ourselves up and keep going along our path if we want to reach our dreams & our goals! Never mind the nay sayers and those who will laugh at us; just keep heading in the directions of our dreams, and the journey will totally be worth it! I know my powder run was! I can’t wait to do it again!

52nd Week…..”Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end” ~ Green Day

My official weigh in was March 13 and my official 1 year anniversary with Weight Watcher’s was March 15.  I am 60.8# down in 52 weeks.  I went from 246.6# to 185.8#.  I went from a size 22 pair of jeans to a size 12. I went from wearing XXL shirts to L.  I went from a size 20/22 dress to size 14 dress.  I went from being a couch potato to a bonafide athlete!  But the 52 week journey was about so much more than numbers on a scale, what size clothing I wear, the race finisher medals or how great I look.

In the last 52 weeks, my blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol all returned to normal/healthy levels!  My skin looks healthier.  And my emotional life is healthier.  I learned to say what I feel instead of stuffing my emotions (most of the time). I learned how to let go of relationships that no longer served me. I learned how important it is to find the right job and not just any job.  I learned that taking the first step may be scary, but its the only way you will get anywhere in life!

A year ago, I was afraid to take this first step back into a Weight Watcher’s meeting.  I was afraid of being a failure again.  I was afraid my family would roll their eyes and say, “Oh no, here she goes again. I wonder how long this will last?!” I was afraid I would be a quitter and hear (in my head) my mom’s voice, “You’re a quitter!”.  Heck, I was even afraid of the success I could be. “What if I lose all of this weight and completely change?  What if my friends and family don’t like the change?”  But there comes a time when you just have to take a deep breath, close your eyes and force your foot forward and don’t look back!

As a runner, I have often heard, “You will never regret going out for your run, but you will always regret not going out for your run.”  The same can be said for most any other first step!  What is keeping you from taking that first step? It doesn’t have to be Weight Loss. It could be about a job change or getting back out there and finding the mate of your dreams.  It could be about anything.  Are you standing at the edge and waiting, over analyzing and weighing the pros and the cons?  What could happen if you just stopped all of that and took that first step? GREATNESS could happen!  Yes, there could be bumps along the way, but you will never know what is out there until you take that first step!

Look at me. I took that first step 52 weeks ago.  Now I’m healthy!  I’m running races.  I’m reaching my goals. I’m belly dancing for live audiences.  My family still loves me.  My friends still love me. I have done my inner work along the way and in doing so have opened up doors for past friendships to be rekindled. I have learned to forgive myself and I’m actually HAPPY… TRULY HAPPY!  And just recently as I closed this chapter of 52 weeks, I also closed another chapter in my life.  I put in my 2 weeks notice for my job.  I have decided that I want to continue walking this path of health and fitness and to do so, I need to find a different job!  I want to inspire people to live a healthy lifestyle.  So I decided to become a Zumba Fitness Instructor!  I’m excited for the possibilities!  

What are you waiting for?  I know it isn’t easy. I know you are scared.  But you can do this!  Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and take that first step into your full potential!  Stop watching life pass you by, get out there and live it!  I would love to have you join me!  I will even be here to hold your hand when it gets dark and a bit scary.  Lord knows, you have been here to support me when my days got a bit stormy.  C’mon….you can do this!  It’s just one step.. JUST ONE.  Then you can take the next when you are ready.  Then pretty soon momentum will take hold and you will be running right through that finish line!

Just in case you need some inspiration, here are a few photos……

 

I had my week count wrong, almost to my year anniversary. In the mean time,check this out!

Last year around this time, my husband & I took a drive up the mountains on this road called Shaw Mountain. This road twists its way up, up & up some more. The pavement gives way to a dirt road that just keeps going. While we drove, we saw LOTS of runners and I said, “What are they doing? Don’t they know they are running up hill? They are CRAZY!” I wondered if maybe this road was the training grounds or maybe even THE course for Robie Creek 1/2 Marathon the Toughest 1/2 Marathon in the Northwest. As it turned out, it WAS the course for Robie.

Fast forward a year. I am a few days away from my 1 year anniversary with Weight Watchers. I am about a month away from my 1st anniversary with the 2nd love of my life, RUNNING! I managed to get a coveted race number for Robie Creek! There are 2500 slots & it sold out in 10 minutes! I got a number!

Saturdays are my long run training days. Instead of training on my local hilly road, I decided I NEEDED to get up to Shaw Mountain and actually train on the course. It’s 9 miles up hill, 3 miles down and 1 flat. Today, my plan was to run 8 miles on this road: 4 miles up, 4 miles back down using my 4 minute run & 2 minute walk cycle.

With iPhone, headphones and water on, it was time to hit the pavement. I started running up, up and UP! My mind played tricks on me. “Yay! I’m on pace! I can do this!” Moments later, “What the heck did I sign up for? I’m NEVER going to be able to do this!” I kept putting 1 foot in front of the other. I saw other runners running down hill & they were all smiles. Other runners passed me running up hill joking, “Are we there yet?”. But every runner I came across was all smiles. There was a sense of camaraderie as we all knew we were training for Robie Creek. We all had the same goal: to finish the Toughest 1/2 Marathon in the Northwest!

It’s a beautiful run through the mountains. And the spring snow run off sang a beautiful song along my running path. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. It couldn’t get any better!

My legs were hurting. My heart was pounding. I kept moving. I realized as cars passed me and the passengers turned to look at me that I AM one of those CRAZIES now and I’m PROUD OF IT!

At the 4 mile mark, I stopped to take a picture. A year ago, I drove in a car and watched life happen. Now I am LIVING my life! I am incredibly blessed to have these mountains as my play ground! I am incredible GRATEFUL for my health! I used to be walking horrible path that would certainly end in disease and death and NOW I’m running a path of health, joy, laughter and LIFE! I began my run back down. As I ran, I saw 2 deer running down the side of the mountain and leap over a fence post and kept running across the street into the brush on the other side. THIS IS MY LIFE NOW!

My life is so completely different now! I’m crying tears of joy as I type this. I may be one of those CRAZIES, but man if I am not enjoying every step I take along my path, whether it’s the journey up hill that makes my quads & glutes beg for mercy or the fun run down hill and everything in between! It’s a JOY to be living THIS life! And I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Today, I ran 8 miles in the mountains in 1hr 57min. I climbed 1292 ft in elevation and burned 964 calories! This is faster than the pace I have set for myself for the race! I am not only going to finish the Toughest 1/2 Marathon in the Northwest, but I am going to DOMINATE IT (at least *MY* version of dominating)!!! Man, I love my life!

I Like Big Butts and I Can Not Lie……. Ya. Not So Much!

A couple of years ago, my family and I went to the local “dollar theater” to see a movie. This theater is the old fashioned style with a long narrow theater, with a little screen in the front and a gentle incline of seats. No stadium seating here. And the chairs are just as old fashioned, well maybe a bit newer. The chairs here do have drink holders in the arms, but they are still built for the thinner America of old.

These chairs are the kind of chairs that requires a shoe horn to get me into. Getting out of them is no real picnic either!

Have you ever been big enough to experience that awkward moment when you try to get out of a chair that had arms on it, and when you got up, the chair came with you?

Do you see where I am going with this?

So we had all sat down in the chairs and were getting comfortable for the movies. We all had sodas placed in the cup holders in the arms of the chairs. It was just about movie time, so I decided I had better make that trip to the girl’s room. I stood up to leave, when my big bum decided that since it couldn’t take the chair with me, it would take the 2 sodas on either side of me! My rather large backside, brushed up against the arms of the chairs pulling out the two sodas on either side and made a huge mess. But more importantly, I was MORTIFIED!!!!

This brought me straight back to my childhood memories of having to walk into a restaurant and ask for a table rather than a booth because my dad could not fit into a booth. Or worse yet, they had no tables with chairs and Dad had to somehow squeeze his girth into the booth! I was embarrassed by him and for him. And now here were my children having to watch me in all of my obese glory…..or shame.

It was certainly not my proudest moment. And honestly, it wasn’t even the moment that made me say, “Martha, you need to lose weight!” Instead it was the moment that my entire family realized that Mom was too fat, and they needed to make sure to hold the drinks down or pick them up before I got up. It was the moment that I learned to warn my family before I got up out of the chairs.

Fast forward to now….

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were talking about going to the movies and he suggested a movie at this same theater. I didn’t want to see the movies that were showing there, but I told him I wanted to go back soon to see how I fit into the chairs. And we let the subject drop.

Today, we decided to go to the movies at this theater. I didn’t even give the chairs a second thought until I was about to sit down. It was like running a marathon and coming up to that last quarter mile. You can see the finish line, but your legs are so tired! You are in pain. You just want this over with. At the same time, you are elated because you are about to see this huge accomplishment become a reality. Then fear sets in, “What if I trip and break my leg and can’t cross the finish line???” Yes, that is what I was thinking as I looked at these chairs. “What if I’m still not small enough?”

It was a fleeting thought. And as I sat down, I didn’t even pay attention to the moment. I just sat down like nothing had ever occurred to me to do otherwise. Once I was seated, it dawned on me. “My butt didn’t have to squeeze in!” I looked at my husband and said, “My butt is small enough!” He laughed with pride in his eyes. My daughter giggled and I turned to her and asked, “Do you even know what I’m talking about?” Her reply was, “Yes! You are skinny, mom!”

Indeed. But what if it was a fluke? After all, I didn’t really pay attention when I sat down. The real test will be when I have to get up to go to the girl’s room and the sodas are in the cup holders! Well that time had arrived. I saw that finish line again. I took a deep breath and in one swift motion I stood up. SUCCESS!!!! The sodas remained unscathed! My bum didn’t even brush the sides of the arms of the chair!

This journey isn’t about the scale, but about these REAL LIFE VICTORIES!

Happy Valentines Day!!!! Gave myself the gift of a healthy heart…..

What did you give yourself???

Welcome to week 49!!!!

In my last post, I talked about the struggles I was experiencing, and at the beginning of THIS particular week, I was struggling emotionally.  I was an absolute emotional wreck last week.  My husband was traveling.  It was that time of the month. It was a full moon and my work was giving me fits!   However, instead of giving into a bunch of emotional eating and bad choices, I stayed focused.  I tracked.  And thought about what I was eating!  And I made sure I got my exercise in!

I knew I would be weighing in on Valentines  Day and I decided I  needed to remember what I am doing this for.  I am doing this for my health.  For the health of my heart!  So for Valentines Day, I gave myself the gift of a healthy heart!  I am 4.8# lighter this week for a total of 56# released from this body!  Happy Valentines Day to me!!!

I have to say that week 49 was also filled with some amazing NSV’s!

Wednesdays I take off to go snowboarding at our local ski hill.  And as you have seen  me type before, I have 2 new snowboarding outfits that I love!  Every time I put them on, I remember how hard I worked to be able to fit into regular sized women’s boarding gear!  Anyway, last Wednesday when I was feeling particularly down and really hoping boarding would help cheer me up, I was in the ladies bathroom getting all bundled up, when a woman (whom I didn’t know) came up to me and said, “That is a really cute suit! Actually you are a really cute you!”   Now THAT was a first!    Then later, I went back out to talk to one of my friends whom I used to work with and she said, “Have you lost weight?” (as she motioned with her hands a slimmer body).  “You look like you have lost a lot of weight and you look great!”  I beamed with pride!  Isn’t that what every woman wants to hear after they have worked so hard?  It felt great!

Then Sunday, I decided I wanted to go clothes shopping.  I didn’t want to BUY clothes, but I wanted to try them on.  I hadn’t tried on cute dresses in a while and I haven’t been to the Dress Barn in years.  So I headed that direction.  While I was trying on dresses, the sales girl said, “You have amazing calves!  I wish I had calves like yours!”  (This girl was you average “skinny” girl.)  THAT WAS A FIRST!  I used to hate my calves!  They have always been big and made it very hard to buy boots.  And now I am being told I have amazing calves!  I have to say that I, too, love my calves now (before she said anything).  I love the definition I am seeing in the mirror.  This may have been the best compliment I have ever been paid!

You might be wondering if I bought clothes while I was shopping at Dress Barn.  Well as a matter of fact, I did!  I had tried on this SMOKIN’ HOT black and silver very fitted one strap sleeveless mini dress.  The girl was trying to help me zip it up but told me it was too small (and knowing that I had just lost a bunch of weight and am still working on it) she said I could use it as a Goal Dress.  It was on serious sale for $25.  How could I pass it up!!!  I also bought this amazing pink leather motorcycle jacket while I was there!  (When  my 12-year-old daughter saw me wearing it for the first time she said, “Wow!  That is awesome!  You  bought that without my help?  Wow, mom!  You are really learning about fashion!  You are fitting into some really cute things, and I’m very proud of you!”  It’s nice to know that my 12-year-old approves of my fashion sense *laugh* but the “I’m proud of you” means more to me than anything!)

When I got home from shopping on Sunday night, I had my  hubby try to zip up that SMOKIN’ HOT dress, and it zipped all the way!  IT DOES FIT!!!!  It’s a bit tighter than it probably should be, but it is AMAZING!!!!  I will wear it  to celebrate the completion of my 52 week journey!!!  (You’ll get pictures then!)

Until then, here is a picture of me feeling mighty sexy in the pink jacket……

Today at the Weight  Watcher’s meeting we had a substitute leader.  And she made some really great comments that made me think.

When talking about losing only .4# or.2# and not a whole pound or more at the scale she said, “We are not robots who will lose 2# perfectly every week.  Every 1/10 adds up and it’s progress.”  She is right.  I am not a robot.  I live a human life where things comes up ,where bodies fluctuate , where stress enters.  But the thing is, I get to choose how I deal with those things and as long as I am showing progress on a longer term basis, then the weekly things just don’t need to get me down!
“There is no failure only feed back.”  How are we going to choose to look at our “feed back”?  We can choose to see a .4# gain as a failure, or we can choose to see it as feed back that maybe eating all that valentine’s day candy in one sitting was NOT a great choice and make a better choices from this day forward.
“Deprivation is the most fattening thing you can do.”  When we feel deprived we end up eating more than what we should or we just plain give up.  That is the best thing about Weight Watchers.  We can choose to eat anything we want as long as we track it and are conscious of it.  It’s about learning to make good choices and treating ourselves with respect.  It’s about learning moderation and healthy guidelines.  It’s about including all of you favorite foods into a healthy lifestyle!

 

Not gonna lie, its been a struggle…..

Welcome to weeks 47 & 48!

As I get closer to week 52, I find myself not wanting to blog as much, and truthfully I have been very busy!  I have also been struggling something fierce!

Week 47 found me at the University of Idaho’s McCall Outdoor Science Camp (MOSS) with my daughters 6th grade class.  This is a week, where I got to play cabin mom to 6 girls and just on the other side of the cabin wall with a door between the two rooms was another cabin mom with 6 more girls.  12 tween girls in total!  Not enough wine and chocolate in the world!   The first two days were torture, and I found myself calling my husband (almost in tears) telling him I wanted to go home.  It was HARD.  We eventually got the girls to calm down and the rest of the week was very enjoyable.  The biggest challenge was eating.  I kept telling myself I didn’t have options.  I had to eat what they gave me.  And since I didn’t have the full reign of the kitchen and only got food WHEN they served us, I totally felt like I need to eat LOTS when given the opportunity to eat at all.  I also found myself saying, “You are going to be outside snowshoeing all day, you need all the calories you can get!”  These two stories were just that!

In reality, I had options.  I could have just had a bowl of yogurt and some fruit with nuts. I could have had a bowl of cereal with fat-free milk.  I could have had a bowl of oat meal.  I did NOT have to have the huge breakfast burrito that the teachers served up. I could have told the teachers to go light on the eggs and sausage.  I didn’t have to go back for seconds of spaghetti!  However, with all of that said, it was the snack times that killed me. I SHOULD have taken more fresh fruit at lunch to tide me over during the day instead of eating the trail mix that was worth 20pts at a pop!  YIKES!  That week, I came home from camp sitting at a beautiful -21 in points!  I came home and tried to get control.  That week I also earned over 120 exercise points!

What did I LOVE about MOSS?  I got to snow shoe for the first time!!!!!  I had so much fun!  I got to be in an epic snow ball fight with about 20 6th graders and 6 adults!  I got to help shovel tons of snow to make a snow fort!  I got to slide down an ice slide with the kids when none of the other adults would play with them.  ALL of this,  would not have been able to do before losing 50#!

     

Week 48 found me going into my Weight Watcher’s meeting seriously thinking I was going to lose some weight, but what I lost was the .4# that I had gained 2 weeks before.  2 weeks of not weighing in, and that is ALL I lost?  I was disappointed!  But it was a loss, so I held my head high and went into my meeting. I am proud of myself for tracking that whole week I was at camp. I tracked everything.

But truth of the matter is, I feel like (well felt like….just wait until I blog tomorrow to tell you how I feel NOW) I was never going to break through this plateau.  But is this plateau that I seem to be in a real plateau or a self-generated hovering place?  My food choices haven’t been the best.  I feel like I am *this* close to a goal (reaching 52 weeks) and I’m fizzling out. I feel like I’m *this* close to 52 weeks and I am only half way to where I wanted to be in 52 weeks (weight wise).  Sometimes I feel like a failure because I am not going to lose 100# in the year I have been on this journey.

I have to keep telling myself that this is a life long journey and that even though I am reaching my 52 weeks, I have to keep this up.

While I was at MOSS, my husband called me with very upsetting  news.  The wife of a man we work with had a massive heart attack and is in a coma.  She is our age with 4 or 5 children!  My husband was soooooo scared.  He called me and thanked me for taking care of myself and making these changes.  THIS is what this journey is about….not the weight.  I am healthier than I have ever been!    The way I was going, that heart attack could have been mine.

When I struggle, I need to remember these things.  I need to remember how far I have come.  I need to remember how much fun I am having being me NOW.

For those of you are struggling with your weight, who may be on this weight  loss journey and wondering if its worth it, IT IS!  Let’s remember WHY we are doing this.  We HAVE to be healthy for our family!  We HAVE to be healthy for OURSELVES!!!  Let’s remember to take stock of ALL of the wins we have accumulated: the times we reached for fruit instead of candy, the times exercised when we really wanted to sleep, the times we were honest with our food journals/tracking when we really wanted to hide that donut we ate, the times we stood on the scale and took accountability, the feeling of going to the doctor to  hear him/her say that we are doing a great job and to keep it up!  Keep a list of all of our WINS and NSV’s and read them when you struggle. They will keep you going!