Week 7…reaching goals and making new ones

Woohooo!!!!  Week 7 and I lost 2.4# for a total of 13.4#!  I made it to my 5% goal and a little over.  I’ll take it!  I was so excited.  I’m not entirely certain WHY I was so excited, but it just felt great to reach that goal.

Setting goals and reaching for them is a funny thing.  Weight Watcher’s gives you that initial 5% goal to reach for, followed by the 10% goal.  And along the way they celebrate every 5# you lose.  But those 5% and 10% seem to be big deals.  I find myself going a little nutso when I get close to those points.  Well okay, so far this time around I have only reached the 5%, and I don’t remember how I felt the first time through WW when I was reaching that 10% mark. But this time, I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit nuts.  I wanted it more than anything, and when I didn’t get it in week 6 I about cried.  Then as I was approaching my weigh in for week 7, I found myself doing a 2nd work out the night before and being very picky about what I was wearing to the weigh in and what (if anything) I was going to drink or eat.  I wanted nothing more than to reach that goal!  Crazy!

When I think about other goals I have set for myself, I remember how scared I felt the night before the d-day.  I remember feeling how important it was to me at that moment and what a sense of “failure” it would be if I didn’t reach that goal the next day.  Fear of failure..that’s a big trigger for me.  I’m sure, as a kid, I heard “You are a quitter” several times, and that (for me) translates to “You’re a failure.”  I’m NOT!  I go for what I want and I  get it!  I follow through with things and I find a new strength inside of me each and every time.

So why is it that so many of us on Weight Watchers freak out every week just before we get on that scale?  I was reading today on one of the groups I belong to about Weigh In “rituals”.  What do you do the night/day before you weigh in?  I saw lots of people type that they do an extra work out. They eat lighter.  They switch up their heavy meals to lunch instead of dinner.  They drink more water.  There were any number of things.  And then I thought about what I do the DAY OF.   My weigh in is at 11:45, and I don’t eat or drink ANYTHING until my after I have weighed in.  And I wear the lightest clothing I can find.

THESE ARE GAMES WE PLAY WITH OURSELVES!

Seriously?  If we have stayed on plan all week, and if we do what we are supposed to do, then that weigh in should not scare us!  Why are we afraid of that number on the scale?  I know I have said this before, and I know our leaders have said this before, but we need to have another measurement besides that blasted number on that scale!  The scale can fluctuate on any given day.  I think I am going to change my way of thinking.  I am going to wear what I want to wear (not freak out anymore) and eat the same thing every weigh in day and see how that goes.  It’s time I take charge of the scale and not let the scale rule me!  It’s time to change my mental attitude!

So now that I have reached my 5% goal; my new goal is 10% by my weigh in on August 2nd.

Now for some NSVs:

****Got into my size 18 misses “skinny jeans” that I bought 2 years ago after losing weight.  They fit, had room to breathe and even a little baggy!

****Did a little over 2 miles in my C25K training in 30 minutes. I’m getting faster!

****Instead of NOT running on a rainy, windy, cold day..I went to run in the mall with all the pre-opening mall walkers!

****My abs are stronger than I thought, was able to get up higher in my crunches than I have before!

Have You Ever Climbed a Mountain?

Here in Boise, Idaho, we have a local hiking “mountain” called Table Rock. Up and down it’s about 3 miles and it has some pretty steep parts broken up by kinda flat parts where you can catch your breath. Since Boise is “high desert”, there is more sage brush and rocks than trees, but it is absolutely beautiful! It’s such a gem to have this so close by. Actually, Boise has a HUGE trail system for mountain bikers and hikers. Table Rock just seems to be a favorite for everyone. It’s a great challenge! And in Weight Watcher terms, it’s about an 11 Activity Point adventure depending on how fast you want to take it!

I have hiked this trail MANY times and each time I am reminded of my Weight Loss journey.

The first time I hiked it was shortly after we moved here, and I don’t remember it being difficult. (That was 8 years ago, and I was used to doing a lot of hiking in the deserts of Arizona.) Then 2 years ago, while doing a weight loss challenge, I took the hike again and about cried all the way up the mountain. Each step was just so difficult. My father had died just 6 months before, and he was severely morbidly obese which had a big part in his death. So on that particular hike, I found myself working through some very serious emotions centered around my obesity and HIS death and OUR relationship. It was so difficult! My coach walked with me through the hardest parts. He let me cry and talk. He actually pushed me up some of the hill. I didn’t think I would make it. Even my son who was with me was cheering me on and helping me get up that hill. It took a community to get me to the top of this blasted mountain! I was reminded then about how similar this hike is to the journey of weight loss. For the remainder of that fitness challenge, one of the other contestants and I hiked that mountain every single Saturday; it got easier and easier and off came the weight.

Today, I hiked all the way to the top for the first time in just about 2 years. It was hard in parts. I huffed and puffed. I kept telling myself, “Just keeping putting one foot in front of the other.” Then in other parts, I was so relieved to be able to just catch my breath and enjoy the view! I also had a friend walking with me and we got to share our stories and get to know each other better. I had support! We just kept walking. We would stop and take pictures. We stopped to enjoy the sounds of the birds singing. It was a gorgeous day! And again, I was reminded of this parallel journey!

Our Weight Loss Journey isn’t a quick fix. It isn’t an easy ride. It’s about doing the hard work..sometimes up a very steep hill. It’s about facing our fears dead on and showing them that we are better than that! It’s about reaching for the summit and sometimes stopping to enjoy that view when we look in the mirror just to see how far we have come! It’s about having that support of friends and community! It’s about realizing we can do things that seem so very difficult that you think it just might kill you; when in reality they just make you stronger!

Every time I make this hike up Table Rock, I am reminded of these lessons. I am reminded of how blessed my life truly is and just how much I deserve the walk to the summit and the amazing view once I get up there!

Keep on climbing, friends! Keep on climbing! We are in this together, and I guarantee you that what you find at the top will knock your socks off!

    

I think I’m in love and it’s not with the stomping elephant!

 I have been going to the same gym off and on for the last 8 years.  Last week I hopped on an elliptical machine that faces the big windows (instead of my usual ones that face the rest of the gym) and I noticed that there seemed to be more machines in this particular area.  I looked over at the other machines that faced the rest of the gym and there seemed to be the same amount over there.  I just shrugged it off and got to my work out.

Then this week, I went back to the gym with my hubby.  We went to our usual spot..the ellipticals facing the gym and I noticed that these machines were new!  I took a look at them and decided to play with them.  Sure enough; they have some really cool new features!  You can control time and level with thumb controls on the handles.  That’s pretty cool.  But more importantly, this machine offered interval training with resistance for the arms/upper body!  SWEET!  It also had interval training for the glutes, prompting you to do the workout in a squat position or leaning back or in reverse or whatever!  I LOVE THIS MACHINE!

My biggest complaint with cardio machines in the gym is my boredom factor.  No matter what I have to listen to on my iPod, no matter what I try to read while I work out (And who the heck can read ANYTHING during an intense cardio workout?  I try and the words keep bouncing!) I just get BORED!  I have even tried doing 10 minutes each on 3 different types of machines to keep the boredom at bay.  But still, I find myself willing the clock to go faster!

This machine and all its cool new gadgets make cardio at the gym so much more fun!  LOVE IT!

So you might be asking yourself, “Self, what is up with the elephant stomping mentioned in the title?”  Well, please let me explain.  It is the sound of my feet running on a treadmill!

I have always been afraid to run in public on a treadmill.  I apparently am a heavy runner.  Okay, let’s face it, I weight 235#..I AM HEAVY.  When I run on the treadmill, I imagine I sound like an elephant stomping.  I am always afraid to get on the machine and have people hear my elephant stomping, turn to see who is making such a racket, then laugh their heads off pointing at me and saying, “Look at that fat girl trying to run!”.

But today, out of necessity, I decided to do my Couch to 5K training at the gym on the treadmill.  I had a really bad dizzy spell last night, and I was afraid to go distance running away from home and get hit with another dizzy spell and fall over or hurt myself or not be able to get home.  So I thought running on the treadmill would provide me with something to hold on to in case I get hit with a dizzy spell, and if I did, then I could just get in my car and drive home relatively safely.  So the treadmill it was today!

I cranked up my tunes, turned on my C25K and started running.  I don’t think anyone looked at me.  The lady 2 machines down MIGHT have, but I really wasn’t paying attention to her.  All I could think about was my huffing and puffing and willing the 3 minute interval to come to an end so I could walk and catch my breath!  I’m sure I still sound like an elephant stomping, but the important thing is, I faced my fear and got out there and didn’t let a little thing like the sound of my feet stop me from reaching my goals!

What fear keeps you from reaching your goals and what can you do to over come it?  We can’t let fear dictate our lives.  Today is YOUR day. Get out there and LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST!

Week 6 Weigh In…….

I have been dreading this weigh in…why?  Because it’s that time of the month” and for all of you women out there, you know how this can affect our bodies.  We  just don’t lose the way we would like to and sometimes we even gain.  This week, I lost .2#.  It’s a LOSS.

I am not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed.  I was really hoping to reach that 5% goal mark today; I guess it will have to wait until next week.  So as of right now I have lost a total of 11#.  Pretty darn good!

This is also week 3 of m Couch to 5K training.  I  warm up for 5 min., run for 90 sec., walk for 90 sec., run for 3 min., walk for 3 min and I do these reps twice.  I was a bit scared.  Going from 90 seconds of running to 3 minutes is a BIG jump.  I made sure to do this on a regular track. I didn’t need the ups and downs of my surround area to get in my way of this 3 minute run.  Sure enough, it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.  Makes me feel like I will actually be able to RUN the 5K in May.  *laugh*

Last weekend, I went to the Roller Derby bout, and my friend and I bought candy.  YIKES.  I bought one of those “movie sized” bags of M&M’s. I took about 2 oz and handed it off to my daughter. My friend bought same size bags of snicker bite sizes and starbursts.  She kept offering them to me..so I took ONE of each.  That was it.  It was sooo yummy. I’m proud of myself for only having the little bites that satisfied my craving.

As for cooking this last week.  I know I tried at least one new recipe. This week’s winner was the Mac & Cheese with carmelized onions.  It was pretty yummy :).  But what I would REALLY like to do is make the salad I had the other night Flat Bread Pizza…YUMMY!!!!!!  I love a great salad!

Well; that is about all I have to say today.  Short and sweet.  I hope you are taking time for yourself this week..do something nice for yourself…

Running for my life…or at least a 5K

I am on my 2nd week of the Couch 2 5K (C25K) training.

November 6, 2006, I WALKED a marathon.  MY intention at the beginning 2006 was to run it, but I did not train the way I should have.  As a matter of fact, the night before the race, I seriously considered NOT doing it because I knew I hadn’t trained right (or at all in like a month) and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  I did know that I had 8 hours to do it in and at the pace that I was walking was pretty certain I could make it if I kept it up.  I did do the race.  I completed it in 7:53:07.  I made it in under 8 hours (my goal time), and I wasn’t even last!  Go me!

With that huge mile stone 5 years behind me, I am working towards a goal/dream of mine that is to actually RUN a 5K.  I have walked several…either officially or unofficially.  But I have never RUN one.  Right now Weight Watchers has a Walk-It Challenge to encourage their members to walk a 5K.  I am running it though, and I’m training.  May 21st is the big day!  I can’t wait.  In the mean time,  I am not a big fan of running. *laugh*

Not a big fan of running and yet I want to RUN races?  Kind of an oxymoron, don’t ya think?  Ya me too!  But there is something about the ACHIEVEMENT in saying that I RAN these races!  I have a drive in me that says I NEED to do these things.  I have no way of explaining it.  It just is.

Every time I go out for my training, I look for that “in the zone” feeling that alot of runners feel or say they feel. I look for that inspiration and the enjoyment that runners talk about having with the sport.  Most days, the only thing I feel is my heart pounding and my legs screaming for mercy!  It’s pretty challenging to find that zone when all you can focus is on where you are going to find that next breath or the strength to run one more step!

I fix my eyes on the horizon and tell my legs, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!  I tell my lungs that they KNOW how to work and breathe and soon the training will say I can stop running and walk for a bit.  “Just keep moving”..one of my favorite lines from the movie “Meet the Robinsons”.  Or as Dori from “Finding Nemo” would say, “Just keep swimming”!  That’s what I do.  And THANKFULLY the lovely woman on my C25K training app on my iPhone says I can begin walking!  SWEET RELIEF!!!  “Okay, heart, slow down.  C’mon lungs you can breathe normally.  Yes, legs, I hear you, but we are not finished yet!”  These are the conversations I have with my body on my training days.  And sometimes I even hear, “Damn, you, Martha!  What are you doing to me?  Look at that hill you are going to have to RUN up..not walk…RUN!  Why did you make that turn on this road?!!!”  I laugh and reply, “Running up hill makes you stronger and faster for when you are on the flats!  You don’t have to do it fast, you just have to do it.  Just keep moving!”  And my body does what it is told to do.  Whew!

Today, that is exactly what happened on my training run.  It was cold out today and even a bit drippy.  But I put on the proper gear and headed out anyway.

Warm leggings, Vibram 5 Finger Treks, Warm running long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, and my rain/wind breaker. BRING IT!

I am focused.  I have a goal.  I have a dream that is becoming my reality.  This running isn’t just about the 5K; its about so much more than that.  I am truly running for my life!  Each obstacle I face while I train is just a mirror for all the other obstacles and challenges that come through my life.  Sure it’s easier to walk instead of run.  Sure it’s easier to stay inside where it’s warm.  But where is the FUN in that?  Where is the ADVENTURE in that?  Where is the GROWTH in that?  If you are not growing/changing, you are dieing.  And I for one want to LIVE!

Wow!  Note to Self:

Yes, I believe that was just the inspiration I needed today, thank you Self for providing that through my typing fingers and this blog!  I am grateful for that realization and awareness and more importantly I am grateful for my legs that keep on moving, my heart that keeps beating and my lungs that know how to work perfectly in every condition!

Week 5 and A New Challenge Afoot!

Week 5 was a crazy one for me.  I just wanted to eat what I wanted and didn’t want to track my food.  I talked about that in the “hitting the wall blog.  But ya know, I ate what I wanted:  chimichanga, cheese burger at Bogus, and Indian food with rice and naan.  I even ordered regular “fatted” bbq potato chips and a diet soda with my burger; I didn’t eat the chips after all and I only had 3 sips of the soda.  I found I just didn’t really want them.  That is a victory in and of itself!  I tracked EVERYTHING and in the end, I released another 1.6# for a total release of 10.8#!  See if I eat sensibly and consciously and track everything and work out like I am supposed to, the weight will continue to come off….even when I use all of my daily points plus all of my weekly points and one of my activity points.  I’m not certain I would do that every week, but at least I know I can release weight and still enjoy  some eating out!

I also had a HUGE NSV this week!!!!  I got back into my “skinny snowboarding pants”.  These are pants I bought back in 2003 after being on Weight Watchers for several months (the first time).  I was so happy to get into “regular women sized” pants because up until then, I had been wearing men’s snow pants!  I could only wear them for a season maybe 2, then I out grew them. I have been kinda trying to get back into them ever since.  I say “kinda” because obviously if I had been serious about it, it would have happened.  This year, I had no real hope for it.  But for whatever reason, last week, I decided to try them on.  Sure enough, they fit!  They snapped, zipped, and had room for me to stoop down and bend over without them coming undone or feeling too restrictive!  Yay!  They fit!!! And just in time for closing day at Bogus Basin!  I told my family, we HAD to go boarding just so I can say I wore them!  Next, year they will be too big!  For right now, I am celebrating this huge victory!!!

Me in my "skinny snowboarding

Celebrating the last day of the season at Bogus Basin wearing my skinny boarding pants and the proper beach attire for the Beach Party

I also had a few other NSV’s like looking tons better in a dress I bought last year and wore this weekend to the Elton John concert and buying new outfits in smaller sizes!!!!  One was an Easter outfit and the other is designated for my birthday dress!  I can’t wait to wear them!!!

Now for the new challenge!  Two years ago, when I was part of the “Fat for Food” fitness challenge, I also decided to start counseling to see if it could help with my mindset issues.  We thought it worked at the time, and she released me. However, I gained most of it back. Obviously it didn’t work.  Now the church I belong to and the study I do with it does help a great deal, and I am thrilled with that.  However, just this week, I was introduced to Transformation.com.  There is an 18 week challenge that I have begun there.   It is run by Bill Phillips who has written several books and had worked with the government on creating programs to help children get/remain healthy.  Anyway, this challenge is based on his book called Transformation. To join the community at Transformation.com and to join the challenge is completely free!  The only purchase kinda required is his book.  The book focuses on healing from the inside out….YES!!!  Exactly what I had been looking for!  Not to mention the publisher of the book is Hay House books which puts out a number of amazing books that fall right along the lines of my spiritual thinking.  Yay!!!!!  So I have started the 18 week challenge and will incorporate it with this blog and this journey!  I’m excited!  Here is one of my favorite quotes from the book so far and it totally speaks volumes:  “By mindset I mean your patterns of thinking and beliefs.  When those are limited by misperceptions about your true abilities, it always interferes with your efforts to change.  The good news is that when you expand and improve your thinking and adopt new, empowering beliefs, you’ll enjoy much greater success.” ~ Bill Phillips

So here is a question for you, my friends…. what limited thinking is holding you back from making your dreams a reality????

Too Obese to Know If You Have Cancer…..

Last night, I was watching Brothers & Sisters. It was a 2 hour special, and the 2nd hour was dealing with the sudden death of Nora’s (the patriarch of the show) Mother. I only got a few minutes into it, when I realized I just couldn’t watch it. It reminded me of my dad who died in 2007.

Most of us have attributes of our parents that we don’t want to be like. In my dad’s case, there was ALOT that I didn’t want to be like. A big part of that was his weight. All of my life he was hugely morbidly obese. He was nearing 500 pounds by the time I was in my 30’s (1999 or so). He, too, did the yo-yo diet thing. His big wall was the 100 pound mark. For him, losing 100 pounds, was like me losing 4 pounds at the beginning of a diet. It’s like “water weight” and it comes off easily! But past the 100 pound mark, he had to work for it. It was his “wall” and every time he hit it, he would get discouraged and quit.

My dad never joined Weight Watchers and he never joined any official weight loss program. He did it on his own with the help of his doctors. So when he hit that wall, he didn’t have the best support. Truthfully, my mom (and I) had lost faith in him (for various reasons..not because of his weight). So we were not the best support for him. And like most people who are morbidly obese, there were deep underlying issues that kept him at his comfort zone of morbidly obese. He would deal with these little by little, but again, when it got hard he would quit or when he got better “enough” he would quit saying he was healed. He wasn’t, and he would revert back to his old ways. (He didn’t save the yo-yoing for just dieting. It was his way of dealing with EVERYTHING.)

Due to childhood abuse issues, I stopped having any real relationship with my father in 1999. We talked here and there, but for the last 4 years of his life, I didn’t talk to him at all…until October of 2007 when he was put into the hospital again for pneumonia complicated by asthma. I was **** He just laid in bed and didn’t follow dr’s orders. So of course, he was gonna get pneumonia! When I got to the hospital; he looked HORRIBLE! His face was sunken in (especially for a fat guy). Looking back, he looked like he was gonna die any minute now!

3 weeks later, after my mom and I had made plans for him to go to a nursing home and Dad had agreed to “be good”, and I had returned home, I got a phone call from my parents. He had a secondary lung cancer that comes with a life expectancy of 2 months. I did the math. Just about 2 months before this phone call he had been diagnosed with a lung infection. I figured the “infection” was really the cancer, and I told my mom, he only had 2 weeks MAX!

More importantly, we had NO IDEA he had the original lung cancer. We had no idea he was really sick! Why? Because he was so morbidly obese, we just thought it was his usual asthma. He couldn’t fit in CT Scan machines. They could only do mobile xrays and biopsies, and he had no symptoms to require those.

He was too fat to know he had cancer! Then he died.

When I run and train for my 5K and I think it’s too hard, I think about this. When I feel a challenge….whether its centered around that food wall or something physical, I remember this. I want to live my life to the fullest! And I want to be healthy into my old age so if something EVER pops up, I will be able to KNOW something is wrong and be able to take care of it before it gets out of hand. In my dad’s death, I have found inspiration.

What inspires you to keep going in the tough struggles you face?

Hit The Wall And Keep On Walking

Darned that proverbial wall! When I did my marathon in 2006, I hit mile #20, and the volunteer said, “I know you are hitting the wall, just break through and keep on going!” Wall? What wall? I had no idea what she was talking about. That was my first (and to this date, only) marathon and I certainly wasn’t versed in a lot of the terminology. Most of my training was done alone, and truthfully I wasn’t that well-trained. Anyway, I had NO IDEA what wall she was talking about, but I did feel like I was gonna keel over and die at that particular moment! Later, I found out that marathoners tend to hit a wall around mile 20. Who knew?! I did break through and finish the marathon, and it was one of my proudest moments!

There are lots of walls in our lives. And in my history of “dieting” either on Weight Watchers or just in trying to eat better, I hit the same darned wall every time. I don’t know about you, but my wall centers around food. I get so TIRED of thinking about food. How many points is that? What am I going to eat for a snack? How many fruits and veggies have I gotten in today? Did I get enough water in? What the heck am I going to find to eat in this restaurant that won’t kill me in points? It’s a big brick wall! It exhausts me! I get tired of being food centric!

But truth be told, I have always been food centric. I want to eat all the time. Isn’t that a form of being food centric? Isn’t that “eating everything all the time” mentality just the same thing but on the opposite side of the spectrum? I realized this morning as I was making my yummy breakfast tacos that I was having fun being creative and making my breakfast. I realized that I DESERVE to treat myself well. I DESERVE to spend the time THINKING about the food I eat because the food I CHOOSE fuels my body! It makes me stronger and healthier so I can experience more amazing things in my life! I became very grateful for this opportunity.

Along with that wall, I also hit another very familiar wall this morning. I didn’t want to go train for my 5K. I’m doing the Couch 2 5K (C25K) training and today was week 1 day 3. It’s not that hard, but today I felt like I just couldn’t do it. There was that familiar wall: “It’s too cold. I’m too tired. I can’t do this.” I grabbed my iPhone, turned on my C25K app and my music and hit the pavement. At first I felt slow and sluggish and really didn’t think I would make it. But by the end of the 30 minutes, I realized I had not only completed it, but I had completed it FASTER than I had all week!

Once the training was complete, I finished out the 2 mile course I take with a slow and gentle walk. I started telling my body how grateful I am for its strength, flexibility, movement, endurance, perseverance, and health! I started to cry tears of Joy.

I broke through that wall and kept on walking! You can too!

Week 4 Weigh In….The Little People Inside of Me

This has been such a great week!  I just came from my weigh in and I have released 2 more pounds for a total of 9.2!

I got my first hike of the season under my belt.  I hiked up Table Rock (a local “mountain” here in Boise).  Round trip, it’s around 3 miles, and it’s a challenging climb up.  I had about 1/4 a mile more to the top when a heavy storm decided to roll in.  I started down the trail in a light sprinkle, but by the time I  had gotten to the bottom, it was pouring rain, wind was blowing and the trail was getting muddy.  Hiking on muddy trails is not only “not fun” but it is also very bad for the trail itself; so even though I could have physically made it to the top without a problem, I wanted to respect the trail.  I had a great time singing and dancing in the rain on the way down, though!

I also got to go to the indoor trampoline park called Just Jump! The first day I went with my daughter and we  jumped for an hour..including some trampoline dodge ball.  Quite the workout!  Then the next day I went with my whole family and a friend and her kids. We spent most of the time playing dodgeball…worked up quite the sweat!  So much fun!

Then on Monday, I signed up for the Weight Watcher’s Walk-It Challenge and bought the iPhone app for Couch to 5K and started training to RUN my first 5K.

All that was about the physical part of my journey, but, this is about so much more than my physical actions.  In order to really make a change, I have to change my thought process too.  And while I was doing my homework for my Seminary class, I read a couple of really great passages in my Essential Ernest Holmes book……

“See only what you wish to experience, and look at nothing else.  No matter how  many times the old thought returns, destroy it by knowing that it has no power over you; look it squarely in the face and tell it to go; it does not belong to you, and you must know–and stick to it–that you are now free.”

“We know that thought is constantly changing,  forever taking on new ways of expression.  It cannot possibly remain permanent.  It has to change.  Can we not, accordingly, change it to a better state instead of to a worse?”

There were a couple of paragraphs in my book that talked about “little people” who live in my body; let me quote a couple of passages that explain this:

“In order that Nature may be coherent and come into  self expression, there must be an objective, a manifest world; but that which is physically outside of us still exists in the same medium in which we have our being, and the intelligence by which we perceive it is the same intelligence that created it.”……….

“Nature made a chemical laboratory within us to take care of our health.  In a sense we might say that there are little intelligences within us acting as though they were little people, whose business it is to digest our food and assimilate it, to circulate our blood and get rid of its impurities.  There are millions of these little people inside our bodies who’s purpose it is to keep us physically fit.”

I loved the idea of “little people” inside of me who know exactly how to have my body work in harmony and keep me physically fit!  I’m a metaphor kind of gal.  I LOVE thinking in pictures and stories, and this just really appealed to me!  Now every morning, I wake up and thank the “little people” for helping my body work to perfection :).

A few pages later, there was this prayer I would like to share with you:

“My body is the temple of the living Spirit.  It is spiritual substance now.  Every part of my body is in harmony with the living Spirit within me.  The Life of this Spirit flows through every atom of my being, vitalizing, invigorating and renewing every part of my physical body.

There is a pattern of perfection at the center of my being which is now operating through every organ, function, action and reaction.  My body is forever renewed by the Spirit and I am now made vigorous and whole.

The Life of the Spirit is my life, and Its strength is my strength.  I am born of the Spirit.  I am in the Spirit.  I am the Spirit made manifest.  And so it is.”

I think instead of the AA Serenity Prayer (which I have never said), I will say this prayer!

One last thought before I go, and something for you to think about.  Today at the Weight Watcher’s meeting there was a Dr. Seuss quote:  “You have a brain in your head and feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” Which direction do you CHOOSE to steer your feet?

What’s Our Fascination with Large Sizing It?

I have been doing WW now for 3 weigh ins. My 4th will be in 2 days. So far I have lost 7.2 lbs. That is great by me. But my weight isn’t really what I’m focused on. Part of doing the Weight Watchers in 52 Weeks “project” is really getting down to changing my habits and creating a healthy life style. Part of that is taking a really good look at WHY I do some things. Generally, the question “why” is useless. If you have children, you might remember that age of “why?” Why this, why that. Their questions were never really answered. That is the nature of “why”. But when I all of a sudden, out of habit, ordered a LARGE soda, I stopped and asked myself, “WHY did I do that?” I found that the question is bigger than me. Why do *we* as the American public fall into the Large size/Super size trap? Most people want to blame this on McDonald’s, but I believe it is much deeper than that, and the beginnings have NOTHING to do with food. Americans LOVE consumerism. We LOVE to buy things. There is even a standard out there: MORE IS BETTER! BIGGER IS BETTER! At first, I believe, this just pertained to our toys, homes, bank accounts. Then, I think, it moved on to our food. More is better! Bigger is better! Let’s make our servings bigger! We also wanted the instant gratification…thus fast food. Add fast food to our bigger is better mentality and BAM! We have Super Sized Drive Thru Meals. When this realization hit me, it was like a mac truck had hit me. Wow! What a huge thought. In my life, I have been proud of my “not keeping up with the Jones'”. I have never really felt the need to have what other people have. Granted, I live a very good life and have plenty of extras, but I don’t measure my purchases based on what my best friend just bought or what the neighbor drives. But my food? That is a different story! I want MORE.. I want BIGGER! Why? One of the old thought patterns I have become aware of is the thinking that “I’m not enough”. Isn’t that why people “keep up with the Jones'” in the first place? To fill a void…to prove they are “enough”? Well food was what I filled my life up with. Make it Larger so I FEEL larger (in a false sense of happiness kind of way). Huge a-ha moment! So how do I change this behavior? Recognition is the first step! First, a while back, I realized that I AM enough. But this 2nd part, about food, was another layer to the onion. Now that I have recognized it and given it a name; it no longer has power over me! I am MORE than enough….I am more than enough to be healthy, happy, whole and complete just the way I am. I do not need food to fill me up and make me feel better about myself! Anyway, that is my story, and I’m sticking to it!